So that’s where my ass went. It was off getting waxed by you and your team.
My earlier show of bravado was done without the knowledge that I faced Helms-Deep THIS WEEK in fantasy football, and that I still need some players.
That being said, I’m still fielding the best team I can. (Unlike some other schmucks, who plan to go easy on him)
I, Dr. Bartholomew Jay Baffled, hereby promise to play all of my most terrible players during my week 6 match-up with HelmsDeep if I win the 70K contest.
And by all of his most terrible players, he means his starting lineup.
I promise to meet Helms-Deep with the full and mighty force of true southern dragons, when we come together on the field of combat. I’ll test his mettle, his might, and his clearly-better-than-Baffled-and-MMLTD fantasy football prowess.
None of this weak shit or bench warmers from me. I value you too much.
I’m NOT worried, guys. NOT Worried that at some point my Tumblr Credentials©® will be revoked. NOT Worried that I might not be able to keep up, make the team, stay cool. Sure, I post pictures of the food I make and bake, talk about the places I go, movies and shows that I watch,
post stuff about my kids, etc.
But I feel like I might be falling behind the times as I’m continually confronted with posts about things that I know nothing about. Not only that, but some of them are things that I most likely won’t ever know anything about, because I don’t care to.
- I’ve never watched True Blood. Ever. And it’s
notjust because I don’t have HBO. It doesn’t interest me. (Deborah Woll interests the heck outta me.) Never seen The Vampire Diaries either. I grew up in a time when vampires were actually something to be feared, and the films of that era reflected that. I was, and still am, a big fan of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles book series. And trust me, those could at times teeter on the edge of the soap-opera genre.
I haven’t seen a single episode of Supernatural either. I haven’t seen enough episodes of Supernatural. Maybe I’m scared because Joss Whedon had nothing to do with it.It seems like a cool show. Not sure.
- I don’t watch any reality TV or game/talent shows. Sure, I occasionally will watch a clip from one if there’s a particularly talented person with an amazing story. Who’s not a sucker for that?
- I’ve never had any desire to watch the show Girls. That’s probably because I’m not a 20-something living in a big metropolitan city. Not my demographic. But if Tumblr is any indication, OMG I should TOTES be watching this AMAZEBALLZ show!
- I’ve never read a single piece of fan fiction. I don’t know why. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just never interested me.
- I’ve also never “shipped” anyone.
- I still think Bon Iver is an overrated, pretentious hack who should not be allowed to sing falsetto ever again ever. WHO THE HECK IS BON IVER?
I do hope, dear reader, that I don’t get my Tumblr privileges taken away from me, or that you’re leaving my little corner of the Internet. And the fact is, maybe I’m wrong about all of the above things. Perhaps I’m missing out on something that could literally be changing my life, because…you know…ART! Or maybe not. Maybe it’s a sign of my age. I’m not quite to the NCIS demographic yet, but always live in fear that I will one day become “that guy.”
If you ever see me create a Mark Harmon gif, please put me out of my misery. Who the heck is Mark Harmon?
I made a few edits to yours. It seemed to suit me/fit me almost perfectly.