Do I see oatmeal? How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!?

As seen previously, I dare-st.  And truthfully, blame The Lady.  She put these—and Baked—on my radar. 


Coming up with the nine questions was much more difficult than answering them. Consider yourself forewarned.

I was tagged… She got me! 

• Rule 1: Always post the rules
• Rule 2: Answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write 9 new ones.
• Rule 3: Tag 11 people and link them to this post. (I’ll break this rule shortly.)
• Rule 4: Actually tell them you tagged them. (I’m tagging just about everybody I follow—or until i get tired of tagging.  Go ahead and answers these, if you have the time and inclination.)

I was tagged by the wonderful and sexy 14rugger so clearly I have to do it because she likes me! She really likes me! (Remember that earlier comment about stealing words that are better than your own? Yeah.)

1. If you could have any pet, domestic or exotic, what would it be and what would you name it?  I’d want my pet back. He died too soon. German shephard. Great dog. That day sucked. AH! No more downers!

2. What is one thing you’ll never understand about the opposite sex? Why they think peeing standing up is the tits.

3. If you had to pick a superpower, what would it be? I’d like to be faster. Like, really fast. Flash fast. NO–Silver Surfer fast! But I’m not traveling or moving that far, so Flash-fast is good enough for me. I’ll never drop another M&M to the ground, that’s for sure!

4. What’s your favorite snack food? I think my go to is Ruffles potato chips. That being said, I eat a lot of snack food: sriracha peas, doritos, fritos, boiled peanuts, dry roasted peanuts, seaweed–it’s like that scene “What’re you rebelling against - Whaddaya got?” only with snack food–but the savory kind. Generally not a sweets kind of guy.

5. What is your dream destination? Nirvana. Or Momofuku.  Close call there.

6. Who would play you in a movie based on your life? Depends on what period of my life we’re discussing. As a young child, Russell from “Up.” As an old professional, Judge Ito. As a hardened warrior of awesomeness, Ken Watanabe. (But truthfully, it’d probably be some Asian Chris Farley looking dude.)

7. Which TV character did you most relate to as a child? I didn’t? TV has always been entertainment for me. I watched a lot of GI Joe, Transformers, He Man (She Ra, but I’ll deny it after this moment), and Smurfs. (And Mainzelmaennchen. If you don’t know what that is, source the Google oracle.)

8. When you fly, do you prefer window, aisle, or are you one of the strange people who like to sit in the middle? Aisle.

9. What’s your favorite quote? I have several that I often use. Allow me to share the ones that come quickly to mind. “You’ll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis!”

I use “like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm” a lot. And “builds character.”

Now I’m supposed to think of 9 new questions and tag people… here goes:

1. Do you have a favorite cut of beef? Please elaborate.
2. What is currently your favorite item of clothing?
3. What was one of your most memorable gifts–either given or received?
4. Do you have a guilty pleasure? Please elaborate.
5. If you had to chose, would it be black ink or blue ink?
6. When was the last time you got the giggles at a generally inappropriate time? Please elaborate.
7. We had “Career Day” almost every year when I was in grade school. What was/is your dream career?
8. What is one of your favorite material objects?
9. Who’s on first?

I’m Too Sexy.

I definitely like where you took this, but I might have to pass.  Maybe I can work this into the talent show later this fall. :-)

Yeah, except most of the gifts are for the baby, right? If it were a true consolation prize, it would be something nice for you while you can still enjoy it.

Spoil-sport. :-p


This was funny, to me.  These are the first three paragraphs in a response to a Motion for Summary Judgment.  Not being able to speak on the law in this matter, I proffer the following, and then comment in italics.

1. The defendant has filed for summary judgment in this case, asserting, obviously, that no genuine issues of fact exist to have this matter submitted to a jury.

2. First, Plaintiff notes that the parties and counsels in this matter have been exceedingly civil and candid with one another. Such a practice is refreshing in an arena that gradually becomes increasingly adversarial and acrimonious.

3. Nevertheless, the parties do have opposing positions as it relates to the care and treatment that was given to the Plaintiff Blah Blah. There exist no real factual disputes, but merely a differing of opinions as it relates to medical care and the applicable standards.

If the MSJ is because “no genuine issues of fact exist” then why would the attorney state (in paragraph 3) that, there are “no real factual disputes, but merely a differing of opinions” to the Court?

Help me out here, some of you legal types.


Allow me to share two work gripes.


  1. Sixteen attorney filings yesterday in the civil cases that end with a 4. 12 of them needed big corrections.  WTF, attorneys.  
  2. This order’s language: Upon consideration of the Plaintiffs’ Motion to Amend/Clarify Response to Summary Judgment (Doc. #32), it is hereby ORDERED that the motion is GRANTED, and the Plaintiffs’ Response to the Defendants’ Motion for Summary Judgment is AMENDED to conform with the Motion to Amend.


Let me (try to) explain #2. 

The defendant filed a motion for summary judgment (MSJ).  Briefly, an MSJ is filed when a party being sued makes an argument that there aren’t any material facts of the controversy that are actually in dispute.  This is usually done after the sides get a chance to flesh out their grievances (but before trial) so as to save time, money, and face, in some cases. :-)

The plaintiff filed a response to the MSJ.  Then the plaintiff filed a motion asking for leave (permission) to amend their response to the MSJ.  Usually, in our court, you need to file a motion for leave, and then include the entire amended response so that the judge (and the opposing counsel) can read it.  It’s not uncommon for the judge to set a deadline for the opposing side to respond to the motion to amend.  In this instance, the judge did not.

But instead of following the common practice in our court, the plaintiff—in her motion for leave to amend—included the language she wanted changed.  And the judge, instead of denying the motion without prejudice (which allows her to bring it back later in the timeline of this case) gave her leave to amend her previous response.  But instead of telling the plaintiff to file an amended response, and having me strike the original response, he says that the original response is amended to conform to the motion to amend (which was actually a motion for leave to amend). 

Hence my headache/gripe.

Long story short, bullet 2 says that permission to amend the previous response is given, but only to the effect that the previous response is amended as proposed in the motion for leave to amend. 

Crystal clear, ammirite?

Now, if I’m hazy somewhere here, you’re gonna have to ask some of the folks that are lawyers (or work more closely with lawyers) to clear it up. :-)

(BTW: this is post 11,999!)


If robbers ever broke into my house and searched it for money… 

Hey, PT^2…they’d need help.  It’s a 27-inch Magnavox I bought when I started college…in 1996…


If robbers ever broke into my house and searched it for money…

Hey, PT^2…they’d need help.  It’s a 27-inch Magnavox I bought when I started college…in 1996…


palmtreepalmtree replied to your photo: Sports push up bra? I thought—being a dude—the…

I know the usual phrase is “bad boys” but in this case, I think you mean “bad girls.”

I think I meant good girls…or awesome girls…or lovely ladies…or magnificient mamm—wait, I better stop now…

It’s a roll new world here with inmate pleadings…

It’s a roll new world here with inmate pleadings…


palmtreepalmtree replied to your photo: (Pretending I’m winning lunch.)(I’m not really…

Is that…. bologna?

And thick cut, yes ma’am indeed…


palmtreepalmtree replied to your photo: (This picture was sent to Tumblr via my phone…

What are you still doing there?

This is the reception/secretary area for visiting judges.  They’re still working on carpeting in our normal work areas.

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